Crazy Thing People Have Tried To Prevent Hair Loss

Picture this: 4000 BCE in Egypt. Donkey hooves, dates, and dog paws were ground into a mash, mixed with oil, cooked to perfection, and lovingly massaged onto bald noggins. Sounds more like a recipe for a bizarre stew than a remedy, doesn't it? 

Now fast forward to 3000 BCE in India. Forget the complicated concoctions; their suggestion was simply to stand on your head. Yes, you read that right. The upside-down theory – increasing blood flow to the scalp by turning the world upside down. 

Jumping ahead to 1550 BCE in Egypt, the Ebers Papyrus prescribed an unusual blend of fat from a hippopotamus, crocodile, male cat, snake, and ibex. Still no locks? Well, then it's time to boil up some porcupine hair and apply it for four days. If nothing else, your scalp would've had a spa day, right? 

375 BCE in Greece, the legendary Hippocrates proposed a mix that included pigeon droppings, opium, horseradish, beetroot, and spices. Aristotle, always the contrarian, said, "Nah, just try goat urine." Yikes! 

Skip to 50 BCE in Rome, where myrrh was the go-to scalp rub for Romans with receding hairlines. But for the brave, there was a more, shall we say, adventurous option. They'd burn a donkey's genitals to ash and mix it with their own urine. Then apply it to their scalp. Talk about dedication! 

Fast forward to 750 A.D. in China, where a blend of rosemary, safflower oil, herbs, and crushed animal testes was the solution of the day. A truly unique concoction, wouldn't you say? 

Vikings, those formidable warriors, had an unusual approach to hair loss in 900 A.D. They chose to rub goose poop on their scalps. Talk about going the extra mile for a full head of hair! 

In 1000 A.D. Ireland, things took a peculiar turn. The remedy involved stuffing mice into a jar, sealing it, and burying it next to the fire. A year later, the jar was exhumed, but you had to wear gloves, or your fingertips might sprout hair. Now that's one way to ensure your hands are forever fabulous! 

Fast forward to 1530 in England, where even Henry VIII was not immune to hair loss. His remedy? A concoction of dog and horse urine. We'll let you decide if that's better or worse than the donkey ash treatment. 

But hold on to your wigs; the 1896 United States takes the cake. Believe it or not, Scientific American published an article about the influence of music on hair growth. String instruments, especially violins and pianos, were said to have a positive and preservative effect on hairlines. Brass instruments, on the other hand, were the villains in this musical tale. Odd, right? But at least it's a lot less smelly and more pleasant than rubbing animal parts on your head.